Why Writing Works

Have you ever been thinking about something a lot, something kind of confusing, and then you write it down and everything becomes instantly clear? That just happened to me tonight when I wrote my last post, Children’s Literature. In it I shared with you about my desire to continue my education, and the possible opportunity to study Children’s Literature for my MA at San Diego State University.

In the interest of full disclosure, I should tell you what I’ve discovered since writing that post: I don’t want to do it! Ha! At least not now, or any time in the very near future.

I stand by most of what I said in that post, about how I love Children’s Literature above all other kinds of story-telling. But I have to break from the ending now, without even giving many people a chance to answer my question at the end, because I think I know the answer for my own life as it currently stands.

It’s not that I don’t want to pursue a graduate degree. I really, really do. I don’t think you can imagine how much I want to go back to school one day. Yet… when I think about giving up the schedule we enjoy right now, the time with my son, the freedom to read and write as much as I please (when he’s asleep) the time to think, the chance to get involved in our new church and be used by Christ in our community… Those things are too important to me right now.  I’d like to use this time while we live in California, while Brian is in school, and, yes, while we live with my parents, to be all here. To be all-mommy to Hudson, and all-wifey to Brian, all-friend to my friends, and all-servant to Christ (not necessarily in that order!).

And I can’t forget all the fun I’ve recently had writing my stories. I don’t really want to give that up for thesis papers and graduate coursework. Not yet, anyway.

At some point, Lord willing, I’ll have a chance to go back to school. But right now, I just like my life too much. I’m just so thankful for the chance God has given me as a mother to slow down and appreciate the little miracles in life. I’m thankful for the time I finally have to invest in friendships, to serve our church as we get more involved, to reach out to those who don’t know the love of our Savior. Could these interests still be served if I went back to school? Possibly. But I’ve been there before, in the crazy wild busyness of school, work and ministry–three full time things at once–and it’s not a place I’d willingly go again. If God has handed me the peaceful platter, that’s the one I’ll take, thank you very much, and enjoy every bite.

Surprised to read such a sudden change? I’m a little surprised to be writing one, but maybe I shouldn’t be. That’s why writing always works! Part of why I write is to know and understand what’s really going on inside my heart.

Oh, and before I forget, the most significant point that occurred to me after writing that last post was this: Even if I started on a Ph.D. tomorrow, I’ve already decided not to work (Lord willing!) until my kid(s) are way older, so what’s the point of going for a degree that would spit me onto a career path if I’m not interested in the career? I think what I’m really interested in is keeping my brain sharp, forcing it to focus, honing my skills and learning new information. This can be accomplished easily by taking one class at a time by extension, when I feel like it, at one of the local universities. Tada! Wow, that was easy…

Unfortunately, not all decisions are this easy, and this one was a little wild. But my heart was pretty clear after I pushed “Publish” on the last post. Can’t argue with that. Writing really works!

NOTE: There are mommies out there I greatly respect who have earned graduate degrees while remaining excellent mothers to their children and wives to their husbands. So, I’m not saying it can’t all be done. I’m just saying I don’t want to do it all just now.